The Surreal Life
by LuvPotionNo9
Summary: 8 X Files characters are stuck in a mansion for 5 months together. Big laughs. (For me at least) UPDATED! CHAPTER 2 UP!
1. Surreal

Disclaimer: I don't own the Surreal Life or VH1. I don't own the X Files either. Happy? Ok now I'm all sad. Boo hoo. Jeez.

Title: The Surreal Life

Summary: 8 people spend 5 months in a mansion living together. Not like Big Brother. No hidden cameras. (X Files characters)

The contestants entered the house 1 by 1. The first to emerge was Mulder. He had 4 suitcases. He sat them down in the doorway and looked around. This was going to be fun.

The next to enter was Scully. She looked at the map she had received and quickly found her room. It was orange and pink. It hurt her eyes to stay in there too long so she set her luggage down and walked into the livingroom where Mulder was sitting and sat on a green blow up chair.

Leyla Harrison and Skinner entered next. "Woah!" Leyla said. "Did I die and go to heaven?"

"I wish." mumbled Skinner under his breath.

Skinner went to his room that he would be sharing with Mulder and John. It was black and white and the walls were checkerboard patterned. He put his bags in the closet and went into the livingroom to await everyone else that was coming.

"Hi Agent Mulder! Hi Agent Scully!" Leyla said as she sat down. "Scully...you and I are sharing a room with Monica! Isn't that soooo awsome? We can stay up and talk all night like a slumber party!"

"Great..." Scully said, "It'll be, uh, fun..." Of course she was lying. She didn't know that she would be bunking with the girl obsessed with her and her partner. And even if she did stay up with her, all Leyla would talk about was Mulder and her. And the 'adventures' that they had been on. Fun fun fun.

Monica and John entered next. They went into their rooms and met the others in the livingroom.

"Hi guys." Monica said waving at Scully and Mulder, but not Leyla.

"Hi." said Mulder.

The next people to arrive were Gibson Praise, and Alex Krychek. Alex had brought his dog, Fido with him. Fido was a black and white boxer.

"If that dog comes anywhere near me," Mulder began, "I will get Scully's gun and shoot it in the face!"

"Whatever, you stupid man." Alex said.

"That's it." Mulder said and lunged towards Krychek like a wolf attacking a sheep. He pounded him with his fist until Krychek's nose started bleeding. Krychek was swatting at him like a helpless puppy.

John and Skinner pulled Mulder off Krychek and sat him down next to Scully who, as a reflex, started tending to a scratch on his cheek.

"It's gonna be a long five months..." said Gibson, leaning back, "Very, very long...."

Sorry, short chapter. I'll try and do another one soon.


	2. Unreal

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story. Gosh.

Chapter 2

That night, the girls got ready for bed. Scully slipped into her red silk pajamas, brushed her teeth, then sat on her bed, reading a book. Monica was in a simple black tank top and black hip-hugger sweatpants. She sat on her bed, next to Scully's, listening to music on her headphones.

Leyla soon exited the bathroom in red plaid pants and a white shirt with the words 'I (heart) Agent Mulder' on it. Scully sat up.

"Where did you get that shirt?" she asked. Leyla smiled, "I made it," she replied, "Would you like one?"

"No." Scully lied, and looked back down at her book. Monica took her headphones off, and got up, "I'm gonna go watch some TV with the guys." She said, and ran out the door. Leyla plopped down on Monica's bed and began to stare at Scully. Feeling uneasy, Scully looked up, "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just admiring your beautiful hair." Leyla complimented, tilting her head to the side.

"Oh, well uh, thank you Leyla. You're hair's really pretty too."

"You really think so?" Leyla took a strand of her own hair and looked at it, "I always thought it was quite…" She looked for the right word, "Normal."

"Well, it's very pretty in its own way." Scully laughed uncomfortably. "It's a very nice color."

"Thank you." Leyla said, smiling bigger now.

"You're welcome." She once again, turned to her book, but soon felt Leyla's stare again.

"Whatcha reading?" Leyla asked.

"It's kind of complicated," answered Scully, she just wanted to read!

"Oh ok…" Leyla trailed off, "Wanna talk about boys!"

This caught Scully off-guard. "What?"

"Well I just thought that it would be kind of fun." She shrugged. Just then, Monica burst through the door, "Hey guys." She said, "I was just wondering if you'd like to see Mulder kill Krycek?"

"WHAT? What happened!" Asked Leyla franticly.

"Come and see for yourself." The girls got up and ran downstairs, and into the living room. Mulder had Krycek in a headlock. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Krycek gagged.

"Mulder!" Scully yelled, running over to them, "What is going on!"

"He ate the last grasshopper cookie!" shouted Mulder, punching Krycek.

"Mulder! John, help me!" John helped her pull Mulder away from his victim. Mulder tried to get back to Krycek, but Johns grasp was too tight.

"You are fighting over a cookie! A grasshopper cookie?" asked Scully in disbelief, her partner nodded. "Krycek, did you eat the last cookie?" she asked in a calm voice.

"I didn't! I'm allergic to chocolate!" he answered, getting off the floor.

"You didn't eat it?" Mulder asked, now beginning to feel bad. Krycek shook his head.

"Well then who did?" Everyone's eyes fell on Fido, who looked like he was going to be sick.

"YOU'RE STUPID DOG ATE IT!" Yelled Mulder, then jumped back onto Krycek. He stopped hitting him after about two punches. He got up, "This is stupid." He said, "I'm going to bed."

"Me too," said John and Krycek in unison.

"BUT," Mulder began, "In the morning, Krycek, you are going to pay! And so is your dog!" He ran upstairs.

"Okay….well I'm going to bed as well, goodnight guys." Monica said, and her room mates followed her upstairs.

Later that night...

Scully checked the clock, it was 2:20 AM. She couldn't get to sleep. She couldn't understand why Mulder got the waterbed. She got up and walked into the guys' room.

"Mulder." She whispered, and he grunted. "Can I sleep in here?"

"Yes." He mumbled and she curled up next to him. About 5 minutes later she was awakened by Gibson who also asked if he could sleep in there. She said yes and he crawled in between them, which kind of ticked Scully off.

Gibson snored. So by 2:40 both Mulder and Scully were awake.

"Shut up Gibson!" Yelled Krycek who was also awake. He got up and jumped onto the water bed, making it jiggle like a giant bowl of Jello.

"Krycek what are you doing?" Mulder asked.

"If the kid gets to sleep on the water bed, so do I!"

So by the time it was 3:00 everyone in the house was on the waterbed piled on top of one another.

"Ouch! That's my face!" yelled Leyla.

"Stop sitting on me!" Yelled Monica. Then it was silent. 10 minutes later Doggett yelled "Gibson! I thought you didn't wet the bed anymore!"

"I don't!"

"Well then it must be Krycek!" yelled Mulder.

"Ew! I'm all wet now!" complained Scully.

"Gibson! Go turn on the light!" demanded Mulder.

"I can't!" he squealed, "All the fat people are on top of me!"

"Move fat people!" Mulder demanded again, and Gibson got up. He walked over to the light and turned it on. Everyone rolled off the bed except Mulder. All the sheets were wet. All of the sudden the bed sprung a leak! Mulder covered it with his finger and another one popped up. He covered that one with his other hand. One sprung up under his face. He began to drink it.

"Help!" Mulder yelled, "We have to save it!" Everyone just shook their heads and dried off with towels, watching in amusement.

After all was said and done Mulder was covered in water, and the bed was flat. All was quiet. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked...


End file.
